What to do when your child hates your boyfriend
There are some events of single motherhood that you simply cannot prepare for. One of them is when your child is old enough to have an opinion about whom you are dating. It is not a scenario that many of you will have encountered, and so allow me to use an example from my own life to enlighten you….
“Mommy, I have decided that I don’t like James anymore, he is simply not right for you” says the 7 year old. I giggle inside but look at her seriously and I ask her why she has reached that conclusion? “I can’t put my finger on it”, she says, “There is just something about him….”
I can see that I have 3 choices at this stage:
- Choice #1:
I can explain to her that it is not actually a decision that she should be making. In fact, NO ONE ASKED for her opinion. As long as he is kind to her, I will make the decision about whom I date, thank you very much.
The most likely outcome of the Choice #1:
- The 7 year old clarifies that it is not just her who doesn’t like my boyfriend, but in fact the AU PAIR feels the same way!
- I take a deep breath and explain to her that it is not actually a decision that the AU PAIR should be making either. It is in fact MY life, or the life that I am attempting to have…
- She tells me that she must have a say in my choice of boyfriends because there is a chance that he may end up living with us… This is her house too.
- I laugh and tell her not to be ridiculous; I am only dating the man.
- She is horrified that I can be so thoughtless and stomps off to her room.
- I take away all chocolate treats for the next week.
- She ignores the poor innocent man the next time he is over.
- I keep holding out on the chocolate.
- We are both equally as stubborn…
- War has fallen upon us.
Choice # 2:
I can dump him!
The most likely outcome of Choice #2:
- I end up giving up total control of my life to a 7 year old girl, who then swiftly takes over the entire household.
- She is firm but fair, and I am destined to live a life of solitude under her youthful rule, leaving my time to be filled with endless tea parties and dolly dress-up games.
- The future is bleak.
I admit that I don’t have the first clue how to handle this situation, and then spend time talking to her about what is really upsetting her.
The most likely outcome of Choice #3.
- I re-assure her that there is no one in this whole wide world that can ever take me away from her. I ask my daughter to find just one thing that she likes about James the next time he is over.
- I call James and ask him to bring lots of chocolate with him the next time he comes over.
- My daughter now has a new best friend!