Anger

Do you ever get extremely angry???   Possibly after repeating the words ‘please get your shoes on’ 15 times, in 8 different ways?  Or when your kids thinks it is hysterically funny to repeat everything you say including ‘stop repeating everything I say’! ?

I must admit that I am no stranger to the feeling of fury on the rare occasion.
Luckily after spending some time in a Buddhist monastery several years back, I have learned the secret to transforming the feeling of rage in to ahhhhh cool compassion. Here is some of the Buddhist ways of dealing with anger.

  • FIRST: Remember cause and effect (in other words Karma). If someone is hurting you and it seems that you have done nothing to deserve it….check again!  According to Buddhism, any misfortune that comes our way is a result of past actions. We reap what we have sown. And so the logic follows that we must look at the anger or annoyance as a good thing, because it is an opportunity to live out your bad karma.

Right so I am thinking in Italics…. This must have something to do with the millions of times that I annoyed my own mom when I was growing up….She did warn me that it would come back to bite me….

  • NEXT:  Try to see the situation as a dream, although it seems very real at the moment, at a later time, even tomorrow, it will appear a distant and faded memory.

Again, I am thinking in Italics…. Chances are that tomorrow the exact same thing will be happening again, so it will doubtfully become a mere memory. But perhaps they mean in the grand scheme of life, does this really matter? Suppose not, unless the stress causes all of my hair to fall out, in which case, their theory may not hold.

  • FINALLY: Difficult situations usually are the most productive in personal growth. Thus someone who stimulates anger is actually giving you the chance to learn what you still need to work on.  It follows then that when people make us angry, they are actually our greatest teachers….

Final thought….Yes, this is true. My daughter is kind enough to give me countless opportunities to become a more patient person. I must remember to thank her in 15 years when she STILL HAS NOT PUT HER BLOODY SHOES ON!

Buddhism is full of wisdom, and all joking aside, it does help to chill me out when times get tense.

Thank you for reading,

JT (Janet Tarasofsky)

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