Single mom…in a heartbeat

I came home from work tonight to find my 4month old puppy throwing up, and again, and again.   After 5 times in ½ hour, I got worried and called the vet.   My daughter and I abandoned our plans to watch a movie and went to the vet instead.

We were told that Buster (my dog) may have swallowed something dangerous, and that if he continues to be sick, we would need to take him back for x-rays and possibly an operation. On our walk back home my mind was riddled with ‘what-ifs’. What if he needs an operation, what if he doesn’t recover, what-if the costs of the operation are exorbitant. All these thoughts were passing through my mind at high speed rates, and I was so absorbed in the possibilities, that I had not realised….. I had let go of my daughters hand as we were crossing the street.

I had let go of her hand.  And as 8 year olds do, she got distracted.   I was about 5 steps ahead of her when I saw the light change.   I was 5 steps ahead of her when I saw the cars coming.   I was 5 steps ahead of her when I screamed as loudly as I could.   She finally looked up and saw the cars coming toward her.

She froze.

She could not move.

After that, everything moved very, very slowly.   I saw my entire life as I knew it completely fall apart.   I felt unprecedented fear enter into my body, and I knew right then and there that I would never feel anything other than pain for the rest of my life if the worst was to happen.   All because I had left go of her hand.
The cars were only just gaining speed after the lights had changed, and for that reason, and also by the will of god/ or the Buddha/ or the universe, the cars were able to stop just in time.   I grabbed my baby from the street, brought her to safety.  I hugged my precious girl long and hard, with a clear understanding that life can change in the space of a heartbeat.

Thank you for reading,
JT

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