Miss Happy gets dumped

One morning in Happy-ville, Miss. Happy woke up and greeted the day with a big smile.  ‘What a beautiful day’ thought Miss. Happy, ‘The sun is shining bright and the birds are whistling.  It’s so awesome to be alive’.  Miss. Happy sat up in bed, stretched with excitement and turned to cuddle her boyfriend….….

With a flash of memory, she suddenly stopped smiling. He is gone!  Moments of the night before flooded into her mind…..the argument, the yelling, the accusations.  The breakup happened quickly.  He said he didn’t love her anymore.  He was in love with a 29 year old girl called Miss Big Boobs.    10 years of happiness, 10 years of laughter…. over.    Happy-ville did not seem so cheerful anymore.  In fact, life seemed quite bleak.

Miss men4 (2)Miss Denial arrived at exactly that moment.  She said adieu to Miss Happy, closed the door after she left, and sat down to have a good hard think about the events of last night.  After some time she concluded that Mr. had clearly made a huge mistake, but he WILL soon realise the error of his ways.  And when he does he will come back crawling on his hands and knees.  She figured it would happen by next Monday at the latest.

Perhaps he ate something that threw him over the edge, thought Miss Denial. She had read about it happening.  Eaten some bad seafood and next thing you know Mr. promiscuous takes over and starts sleeping with random women.’  Happens all the time, it’s just not widely reported.

Miss Denial was able to go to work and live her life without difficulty for the next few weeks because she knew deep down inside that He will be back.  Oh yes, he will be, and when he is, he will be sorry!

But when Miss Denial’s boyfriend didn’t show up the next Monday, or the Monday after….Miss Guilt knocked on the door and asked if she can stay for a while.   Miss Denial handed over the reins to Miss Guilt and left the building.

Miss Guilt seemed to have a much harder time getting through her daily routine.  Life became more chaotic and confused.  Her commutes to work were filled with thoughts of doubt.  I must have done something terribly wrong for him to have just left.  Perhaps I should have worn that ‘nurse’ outfit he bought me?  He was always asking, but I thought he was joking.  Seriously, he had to be joking right?’

When she was lunching with her colleagues, her mind would wonder….’Maybe I should have cooked for him more often.  Or perhaps he left me because I didn’t want to hang out with his family.  That could have been it.

During her afternoon conference calls she would retreat to her thoughts again… ‘Should I have bought more sexy underwear?  It’s just that I tend to develop a rash when I wear too much lace.  I thought he understood that!’

By the time she got home from work, she was too exhausted to see friends who wanted to console her.  She couldn’t cope with getting dressed and looking decent.  She just wanted to go to bed and sleep.

MrMen-LittleMissBossywonderwixi (2)After months of this behavior, Miss Guilt had enough.  She realised how pathetic she was being and called Miss Angry to come over. And so she did.    It didn’t take Miss Angry long to get started.  She immediately began mumbling to herself, cursing the unfairness of it all….

WHY COULDN’T HE BE HAPPY WITH WHAT HE HAD?

WHY DID HE HAVE TO LOOK FOR A YOUNGER MISS MEN?

COULD HE NOT HAVE CHOSEN SOMEONE CLOSE TO HIS AGE?  NOT SOME 20 YEAR OLD WITH MASSIVE BOOBS?

WHAT COULD SHE POSSIBLY SEE IN HIM ANYWAY?

HE HAD NO IDEA HOW LUCKY HE WAS.

SOMEBODY NEEDS GET THIS BASTARDS STUFF OUT OF MY HOUSE

SELL IT, BURN IT, GIVE IT TO THE POOR.  I DON’T CARE…. I WANT IT OUT OF HERE!

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE GET ME A DRINK.

Miss Angry’s anger did not stop the man situation.  It seeped into her entire life.  Work, family friends.  Suffice it to say that no one really wanted to hang out with Miss Angry.

Which is why Mrs. Sad tapped Mrs. Angry politely on her shoulder, and asked her to leave.  It was high time to stop being angry and begin feeling sorry for herself.

Why me? Thought Mrs. Sad.

She spent most of her days at work crying in the loo, unable to control herself.  She continually asked the same questions: Why did he leave me?  I have always tried to be the best girlfriend I could be.  I may get a little grumpy and angry once in a while, but doesn’t everyone?

How could he throw away the last 10 years for some little Miss with firmer Boobs then me?

Miss Sad sat home night after night, eating ice cream and watching Bridget Jones Diary.

Her mantra a bedtime was: I am a big fat looser.  I suck.

Her morning thoughts were: I am alone.

Her dreams were riddled with depressed scenarios of growing old all alone, and having no friends.

But one day, for no apparent reason at all, Miss Sad began to feel better. As if a weight were lifted off her shoulders, she feel lighter and dare I say, even hopeful.

Mr._strongThe next day, Miss Sad was nowhere to be found.  Instead Miss Hope had taken her place.  She began to see things very clearly, as if the rain had just stopped after months of torrential downpours.  How could she have wasted so much time and energy on some Mr. who could not see past the ‘shiny and new’?  Hadn’t she promised herself countless times to get into her own hobbies and interests? Well, this is her chance!  She could go back to work or school and do something really interesting with her life!  She could go on that spa holiday she had always dreamt of.  Miss Hope knew for certain that her dreams could come true, and that she could make it happen, with the help of some friends, family, and of course with some hope.

Miss Happy woke up one morning, looked outside and thought: what beautiful day! She sipped her morning tea, smiled at her happy life and watched the people pass by on the street below.  Hold on a minute…Isn’t that Miss Big Boobs down there kissing…. Mr. Just-out-of-University?

 

Thank you for reading,

 

JT

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