Are you doing the right thing?

the right thing

Ever since I was a kid my dad has been pointing out the most obvious facts, as a way of offering me words of advice.  For example, I would be getting ready to leave the house and the man would advise that I remember to open the door before walking through it!  Or remind me to step down from the sidewalk before crossing the street.  Yes, really!  It used to drive me completely crazy when I was growing up….

These days, I really don’t mind him doing it anymore.

Why?

8 years ago I left London to move closer to my family in Canada.  I couldn’t bear the thought of strangers bringing up my baby girl while I was working until 7pm each day.  I needed help, and I found that help from my wonderful family.  But all the while that I was living in Canada I missed London intensely.  All the career opportunities, the excitement, the culture.  Every morning that I woke up in my hometown of Montreal, I thought….. Am I being a good mom, rather than a happy mom? Am I doing the right thing?

That would have been an ideal time for my dad to show up and point out the obvious….Something like: ‘The choices that you have made are always the right choices.  Yes, you are doing the right thing.’

3 years ago I packed my bags and moved back to London.  I couldn’t stand being away anymore, I missed my life in the UK, the people, the energy that London has always given me.  It was one of the hardest moves I ever made.  I broke my parent’s hearts, and removed my daughter from a world that she knew and loved.  I did it because I wanted to be happy again, and I wanted my little girl to grow up differently from the way I did.  And we are happy.  But after every visit back to Montreal, I often wonder: Did I rob my daughter of growing up amongst so much family and friends who adore her?  Would she be happier if we lived in Canada?  Did I do the right thing?

Again this would be a fantastic time for my dad to appear and say: Of course you are doing the right thing Janet, you are a good mom and you deserve to be happy.

And you know what?  My dad does say that to me….about every decision I make, regardless if he agrees.

Sometimes, we all need someone to point out the obvious.    The choices that you have made are the only choices that you could have made in order to become the person that you are today.  And that person is good.  You are good.  You deserve to be happy.  This is the obvious.  But can you see it?

Thank you for reading,

 

JT

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