I often catch myself inventing useful gadgets in my head. I may be walking the dog, or on the tube, or possibly watching a movie, when suddenly BANG…a super cool invention appears before me! But sadly my mental masterpieces disappear as quickly as they come to mind because I have neither the time nor the inclination to make my imaginary gadgets a reality.
TODAY I thought that I would share a few of my ideas with you…..
The handbag organiser: The thing about being a woman is that you need a big handbag. You have much to carry with you in transit: your wallet, makeup, keys, phone, tissue, hand cream, Oyster-card, loose change, food for the kids, treats for the dog, etc….You must get a handbag that accommodates all products.
The problem arises when your phone begins to ring, or you reach your front door…… and you can neither find your keys nor the phone for love or money, because your bag is too big and has become a crowded mess. WAIT….all is not lost! Enter…The Handbag Organiser. It is a thing-a-majig that snaps right into the inside of your lovely handbag, like a second skin. It has a plethora of pockets and zippers, each feeling distinctly different from the other via its shape or material or even sound. All you need to do is reach gently into your large, well organised handbag and you will immediately feel where everything is! Gone will be the days of searching, loosing and having to take every item out one by one in order to find your required item! Brilliant?
The Male PMS (PMT) detector: It is a well-known fact, men do get premenstrual. At some point of the month, your male boss, husband, colleague will suddenly become in a very bad mood…for no reason whatsoever. He becomes snappy and irritable as he begins bitching about all the stuff in the world that he cannot control. Like the weather, for example.
Please note that I totally understand and can forgive a few days of bad behaviour each month, because I tend to suffer from something similar. The difference…. is that mine comes at exactly the same time each month, which is predictable and therefore can be planned around. This is not the case with the male PMT, it can creep up at any point of the month. How do you work with that?! AHHHHHAAAA. In comes the Male PMT Detector, warning you that his time has arrived. Cool? This incredible invention comes fully equipped with a large sedative and a glass of milk. All you need to do now is smile and wave.
The Chin-Hair App: I think I may have mentioned it before, and I realise this may make a dent in your view of women, but these annoying hairs keep appearing and something must be done! I wake up, shower, dress, exfoliate, moisturise, tint, prime, cover and paint. I leave the house looking well groomed. 10 minutes later I am going down the escalator on the tube and I catch a glimpse of my face in a reflective surface….and there it is…a big, long black chin hair. How the hell did I miss that before I left the house!?! Or did I? Perhaps it sprouted once I left, waiting patiently to catch me off guard and intentionally embarrass me. Well Ladies, with the Chin Hair App, your worries could be over. The advanced, high tech piece of equipment will give you a warning with a simple beep on your telephone, letting you know that the bud has broken skin and it is time to politely excuse yourself and pull out the tweezers.
There they are ladies and gentlemen, three inventions for you to do with as you please. If anyone would like to steal or borrow any of the above ideas, I will claim no rights to them, I only ask to be kept well supplied of each, or any, of the above.
Thank you for reading,